Dance with Me, Dork
by General Button
Summary: Last year's Peach Creek Jr. High annual school dance was a distaster. Double D isn't looking forward to another one. This time, though, something's different.
1. So It Begins

If you guys aren't on tumblr, you're missing out. The kevedd fandom has totally exploded there. So much fic! So much art!

I started this after watching Look Before You Ed, an episode I had actually not seen because it was a lost episode, I believe. It's sort of like an AU/sequel to the school dance. You can find it on Youtube if need be.

**Disclaimer**: Not sure if I even need these.. but for posterity, don't own it!

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_Oh my. Oh dear. _

Double D stepped gingerly over the fluttering paper poster lying on the floor, displaying the Peach Creek High annual school dance. It's usual heading "Peach Creek High Presents," was underscored by the large Times New Roman font. Double D picked up the offending item and inspected the glittery writing. Not much had changed, unfortunately. The dance would continue to take place on its yearly schedule, much to his chagrin.

"Double D!" A voice, obnoxiously loud and ecstatic, barreled into Double D just before the voice's origin.

"Ed," Double D squeaked, choking on the last of his breath as Ed attempted to squeeze the life out of him. "How good to see you. I trust you had a good night's sleep."

"Like a baby," said Ed in his particular fashion of speech. There was something to say about the lovable oaf's speech patterns; his articulation was near perfect in general, though what came out of his mouth was another matter. Double D pressed his still-gloved hand over Ed's frosty head, dusting off excess snow.

"That's wonderful! Where's Eddy?" As per their usual routine, they had come to school together, but branched off to their lockers; since Eddy had been made aware of the despicable school dance, unlike last year's travesty, he had scuttled off to do whatever it was that the young man had plotted. No doubt a pesky scheme of some sort intended to 'woo the pants' off of an unsuspecting woman.

Double D had no time for such things; not when he was hell-bent, pardon the term, on avoiding anything to do with the school dance as much as possible. The humiliation of rejection and activities on the dance floor were not things he would prefer to face.

Lost in his own speculations, he only noticed how close Ed was until he was nearly shoved into his armpit. "Ed.. if you would, please let me go." He was engulfed in his arms briefly, and then standing by himself, staring up into the vacant face one of his best friends.

"Eddy?" Double D prompted, shifting his messenger bag onto his other shoulder to keep it from digging into his delicate skin. The sweater he wore was undeniably warm, but an easy irritant.

"Cover your ears, little man." Ed waved his finger in warning. Double D did no such thing. "Eddy told me not to tell you that he was going to 'nab Nazz' for himself this year." Satisfied by the turn of events, Ed smiled goofily.

Double D's chuckle was affectionate. "Eddy is free to try his hand at 'nabbing Nazz', as it were. It's a wonder any of us manage to face her beauty without breaking into a sweat." Truly a conundrum; he had had so many shirts, and so little time to iron them all. Speaking of shirts; Double D raised his second layer of clothing and pulled down the first, which had ridden up his stomach uncomfortably.

With all of his clothing assorted, Double D motioned for Ed to follow him and they marched off to class—or Eddy, whichever came first.

In the end, of course it was Eddy who came first. More specifically, Eddy and Kevin. An unlikely, and destructive, combination. Double D winced automatically when he noted that Eddy was being pressed against one of the school's blue lockers with enough force that Eddy looked out of breath. Oh, what had he done to anger their childhood bully already?

"Greetings Kevin," Double D ventured, raising a weak hand to wave at the furious red-head. He seemed to be in a state of constant irritation, so it was hard to gauge exactly what he was feeling. However, when he turned his head and faced the two new arrivals, he was obviously angry. "I hope you're having a fine morning."

Double D was going to ignore Eddy for the moment; if he wished to contend with the likes of Kevin, Double D was not going to stop him. Still, he was his friend, and there was something to that friendship. So, when Kevin didn't answer, glaring menacingly at Eddy, Double D coughed lightly to get their attention.

"Is it not too fine a morning to be rough-housing? I apologize in advance for any trouble Eddy has caused you." Double D smiled nervously, tapping the tips of his fingers together. Kevin seemed to contemplate something before Eddy spoke up.

"Apologize in advance?! I didn't even _do_ anything to this asshole!" he received a particularly rough shove for his efforts. "Lay off! What's your problem?"

"You dorks are always the source of my problems!" Kevin growled into the Ed's face, shoving him roughly once more before standing back, arms crossed threateningly. "And stay away from Nazz!"

"My, he certainly seems to be in a particularly foul mood today," Double D observed.

As he stormed off, Eddy flipped him the bird and then turned to his companions, fuming by the expression on his face. "What the hell's his problem? All I did was mention to Rolf that I was totally going to go with Nazz to the dance, and then he went ballistic."

Double D shifted his bad. "Considering your previous attempts to woo Kevin's very good friend, I would have only expected such a reaction. Perhaps you worded your sentences in a very strong, disagreeable manner."

"I am totally agreeable," Eddy groused. "Kevin is just a chump. A jealous chump; he knows I'll totally bag Nazz before he can do anything about it." After a bought of Eddy's usual raucous laughter, Double D took both of them by the arm and began leading them to their classroom.

"Just because you are a day ahead of the game this year, Eddy, that does not constitute your behavior."

"The chicks dig me! I don't understand what Kevin's problem is."

"Harassing the women of Peach Creek Jr. High does not a man worth 'digging' make. If you forgo this attitude, then you might find a date that truly enjoys your company."

"Stop being so boring with your big words and multiple syllables, sock-head. I've got this all under control. See, my brother's book was totally outdated. I found a new one that was hidden in his room. It's totally foolproof!"

"Mm." Double D felt that anything coming from Eddy's brother was a stretch, considering their previous experience, but he didn't argue with the boy now. Not when math class was their next stop.

The three Ed's strolled into the classroom, babbling and earning the usual glares from their peers. Ed and Eddy slipped into their desk, grumbling all the way, but Double D stopped curiously in front of his own desk.

Placed on top was a note folded neatly, but with various lines that suggested whoever the sender was had spent time attempting perfection. Double D picked up the note with two fingers and placed in his pocket before anyone might notice, casting his eyes furtively about the room.

No one seemed to be gazing at him with the apprehension of a possible date, nor was there anyone Double D would consider having an attracted towards him. Frowning now, he slipped into his seat and placed the note into his lap, waiting until the teacher began his normal routine of writing out that morning's algebraic problems.

When the class was distracted by Eddy's grumbling as he attempted to a solve a simplistic math problem, Double D cast his eyes around once more and opened the note.

The next time he looked up, Kevin was staring at him intently.


	2. Secret EDmirer

The plot develops... even though we know who the note is from :P I hope you guys like the update! They're short, but they should be faster this way.

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Momentarily shocked when he met his classmate's intense gaze, Double D could only blink and gaze back at Kevin. Contrary to what he would have believed, Kevin did not look away as he met the Ed's eyes. Instead, he waved and _smiled. _Or rather, smirked.

_Good Lord_.

Double D quickly averted his gaze and then glanced at the note. It was typed and read as follows:

**I'm not sure how to ask you out. **

**You're kind of unapproachable with that huge brain of yours. **

**Wanna dance with me? **

Double D swiveled his head to exchange possible glances with Kevin again, but he was now staring resolutely out the window. Double D flipped the computer paper and examined both sides, hoping to yield a resolution to the mysterious sender, but to no avail. His heart fluttered.

When the teacher called him to solve the problem, as Eddy was having his usual trouble, he happily pressed the note back into his pocket and stood up. "I'd be glad to assist Eddy," he answered, and trotted towards the blackboard to correct Eddy's obvious mistakes. Some things never changed. Except for, apparently, romantic interest in himself. Double D only half paid attention to the simple problem as he pondered new mystery.

By the end of class, Double D's propensity towards curiosity was fast becoming his downfall. The note was like a burning coal in his pocket; he wanted to hold it and run his fingers over the smooth letters until its secrets were revealed. To think, he had a secret admirer! Who could it possibly be?

On the way out of the classroom, Double D clutched the note protectively to his chest in mindless infatuation. Perhaps the note lacked finesse and the prose was a tad informal, but the sender was someone who was interested in Double D. But what if it was a prank? Would someone be so cruel? Double D frowned and pulled the slightly crumpled paper in front of his eyes. It certainly seemed sincere, but he had seen what false sincerity could do.

"Heya Edd, watcha got there?"

Curse his propensity to also become too focused at the worst of times. Double D quickly shoved the note into his bag, but perhaps his secrecy was obvious; it was impossible to have privacy when it came to his best friends. Although he usually didn't mind, times like these made it difficult to hold in his frustrations.

"Nothing!" Double D tried calm and collected, but he spoke far too quickly and his nervous gesture didn't help anything. Eddy was reaching for his bag before he had spoken the word. Double D jerked backwards only to find himself running into Ed's chest.

"Can't I at least have a _shred_ of privacy when it comes to you two?"

"Nope!" Eddy yanked back his bag and dumped its contents on the ground.

"Eddy!" Double D shrieked, but he was pawing through Double D's things until he snatched up the piece of paper that he had seen Double D shove into his bag. "Where are your manners? The sanctity of privacy is sacred! Y-you can't just—"

Ed was quiet with anticipation behind Double D, who bit his thumb in anger. Eddy's face pinched with confusion and he waved the note in the air between them.

"What is it Eddy, what is it? It is the location to a secret tunnel?" Ed giggled.

"Wanna dance? What the hell does that mean? What is this, Double D?" He waved the paper until Double D snatched it from his hands, cheeks burning with humiliation. It was hardly anything of which to be embarrassed, but he always felt accused by Eddy's attitude.

"Despite your inclination to ignore the obvious, it is a note." Double D smoothed the paper against the nearest wall reverently. "From a secret admirer, no less. At least, I think it is." He looked at the writing again. If it was intended at a prank, would it not hold 'meet me here' instructions or declarations of love? Its lackluster gave it more quality.

"But the dance is tomorrow, Double D," Ed remarked. "How you be able to dance with your partner like potato dances with gravy on my plate if they don't reveal themselves?"

Double D blushed. "What are you implying, Ed?"

"It's probably just a prank," Eddy grinned. "Or from Marie. That girl will do anything to get in your pants."

All of them gave a collective shudder.

"Do you think the Kanker sisters will be at the dance?" Ed asked fearfully.

"I would not doubt it, Ed." Double D sighed. "It would be nice if they could find a real hobby to occupy the hours instead of an unhealthy obsession. Last year's dance was quite something, if you remember." He was still a little sore about it. Dancing with Nazz had been wonderful—in retrospect.

Curse his propensity towards sweaty palms.

"And if anything, my admirer is a shy young girl who doesn't know how to express herself." He sniffed. The note did seem like something perhaps Marie might say, but she wouldn't resort to such methods; if anything, she would grab him by the neck and force him to dance. Nazz certainly wouldn't send any messages to him; not when the soccer, baseball, and football team had such members. She could even choose Kevin if she was so inclined, although they never seemed to go that route.

"I bet it's Sarah. D'you remember how obsessed she used to be?" Eddy started laughing whilst Double D tried to shush him, casting furtive glances about.

"You should consider your words more carefully, Eddy," Double D chastised in a mock whisper. "Sarah has the tendency to appear at the most inopportune moments. Do you remember the last time you made fun of her small crush on myself?"

Eddy scowled. He remembered the bruises very well. "Whatever. Anyway, this is the plan, boys. We only have the periods between classes, lunch, and the same routine tomorrow to round up the ladies. As long as we stay cool, we've got this in the bag."

Double D rolled his eyes. "I'd like to take a moment out of the day to discover who my admirer is, if they are indeed one such, rather than find women to gather in the proverbial bag." He began to gather his spilled books into a neat pile, sorting them until he was satisfied. After carefully replacing the order in his messenger bag, Double D led his friends to his locker. Immediately he noted something white sticking out of the vent and bent closer to inspect the slip of paper that seemed to be sticking out of place. How peculiar; his locker was always impeccable.

Double D opened his locker and watched the note wiggle from where it hung. The paper was crumpled, as if someone had hurriedly shoved it into the space before class. Eddy snatched it up before Double D could stop him, grinning like a loon.

"Get this! Whoever this kid is is such a chump!" He was giggling, but Double D ignored him as he took it for himself.

**That hat on your head is a little ridiculous, but when you smile and show your gap I can't help but think you're kinda cute.**

**You'd look good with a bowtie**.

"She—or he—has quite a way with words," Double D remarked, smiling. He could feel himself blushing, to the amusement of his companions.

"What, you think it might be a guy? Hey lumpy, maybe Rolf's got it bad for Double D here!" Both of them started laughing, to which Double D also partook at length. He carefully placed his math book into the locker and took out his history text.

"I can't imagine the 'son of a shepherd' would leave quant notes inside of my locker. His traditions are really quite traditionally spoken. Whoever my secret admirer is, they have an affinity for bow ties, and Rolf's often traditionally done attire hardly connects with croatian mercenaries wearing scarves about their neck."

"Croa-what?"

"Croatians, Eddy. The bow tie originates from mercenaries during the... Prussian wars, I believe. It was a scarf meant to hold their shirt together, but it has evolved into a mere fashion statement. One my parents hate; a tie would be much more suitable—"

Avidly explaining the origins of bow ties, Double D hardly noticed where he was going until he had barrelled straight into one of the football players. A flash of green, obviously dyed hair caught his eye before he flinched and stumbled back into Eddy.

"O-oh. My apologies," he began, looking into the face of one of Kevin's friends.

"Hey, look, it's the dork," the boy grinned, though it didn't seem to hold malice. "And his two dorky friends."

Eddy looked like he was about to explode, so Double D stepped in front of him. "Yes, well." His tone was clipped. "Apologies. If you will excuse us."

He made as if to pass, but a voice stopped him.

"Hey, double dork." Kevin, the captain of his team, was bent down, picking up the crumpled piece of paper that represented Double D's secret admirer. His heart leapt in his throat when he thought Kevin was going to read it, but he merely folded the paper and moved to press it into Double D's hands. "Don't forget this."

Briefly his fingers, warm and calloused, brushed Double D's. Kevin's fingers curled over Double D's so they folded over the paper, and then he squeezed so briefly, Double D thought he had imagined it.

When he blinked, they were walking away. The warmth from Kevin's hands lingered. His heart was beating abnormally fast.

"Jeez, what are their problems? You guys are the dorks!" Eddy yelled, but they were by that point too far. "Fucking assholes, they ain't got nothin' on us. I could throw a ball way better than any of them." Eddy grumbled some more, and Double D clutched the note to his chest, pressing his tongue into the gap between his teeth.

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I mentioned a boy with green hair because that is c2ndy2c1d's oc from her kevedd comics on tumblr. You don't need to know him, but for those who do, woopwoop! 3:


	3. This Is UnEDcceptable

Hey, boops! 3: I hope you like this bit. I promise it won't be super angsty; I want this to be light. So don't worry those pretty little heads. If you want a picture of Nat (a.k.a. green-haired friend), message me (idk how to put links on here).

To all guest reviewers: heee thank you!

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English was both enjoyable and equally excruciating. Grammar was one of his favorite subjects aside from the sciences, but the general population largely viewed it as boring tedium. Double D honestly didn't understand why they thought so; the English language was a most riveting subject.

Followed by his fellow Ed's, Double D moved through the door and towards his seat at the very front of the classroom; his preferred spot. Few bothered him there, and the less intelligently inclined spent their time yammering in the back of the classroom. Eddy and Ed sat behind him some seats away.

The clique or sports fellows arrived loudly just after the three Ed's, so Double D moved to allow them through. They tended to pass by his desk daily, and getting a slap on the back or a few derogatory comments was not his definition of fun.

Kevin and his friends were in the lead, laughing and shoving each other as boys tended to do.

"I have to run 6k this weekend, man. Not fun."

"Choice," Kevin laughed. "It's not even that far."

"Your mom's not the one making you run for charity!"

"I thought we were _done_ busting our asses when football season ended?" Another remarked.

"Yeah, well don't forget about baseball. You know the coach."

"And if we didn't have a reason, I think someone here would have blown up from all the hotdogs he eats on a daily basis." Kevin poked his green-haired friend in the stomach harshly.

"Don't diss the dog! That shit is tight." They were quickly shushed by their teacher, who reprimanded the use of language. After a chorus of sarcastic apologies, they moved to their seats in the back.

_Finally_. Double D moved to his own seat, irritated by booming laughter behind him. He sincerely hoped they quieted by the start of class. As he went to sit down, something prodded at his thigh (a forgotten marble?) and caused his to jerk up and away from the seat. Glancing down with accusation, he was flabbergasted to see a… a jawbreaker. Double D picked up the offending item and brushed off any possible dirt with his shirt. His mouth began watering in a distinctly pavlovian response.

But who would leave a jawbreaker on his desk?

Double D cast his gaze behind him, trying for nonchalance. Eddy and Ed glanced up at him before focusing on their homework, attempting to complete what they hadn't done in a rush.

"Again, Eddy?" Double D scolded, earning a smoldering glance from his companion.

"Oh shut it! You know I don't do homework." That he did.

Double D glanced at Nazz, who was painting her nails, Rolf, who was coveting a piece of meat under his desk, chewing conspicuously, and Sarah and Jimmy were drawing something together on her desk.

Het met Kevin's eyes unexpectedly; a lazy grin stretched across his face and his fingers raised in a half-hearted wave. Double D realized he was staring when his green-haired friend leaned over and waved as well, giggling. Double D immediately spun back around and held the jawbreaker to his chest.

Should he eat it? What if Eddy noticed? From where had it come?

Questions buzzed incessantly and Double D placed the jawbreaker on his homework assignment when something white caught the corner of his eye. He bent down and looked at the left edge of the desk where a small square of computer paper was taped. He quickly and quietly pulled it off, lying it on his desk to inspect the test.

**You like this kind of candy, right? Thought you might like it as a pre-dance gift.**

His deductive skills may not have been the most developed, but he knew that the sender could not have placed it here until this period, and Double D had arrived fairly early. That could only mean that the sender was either in this room, or very quick.

Who would put a jawbreaker in such a place though? Double D stared at the offending item, and when the teacher came to pick up their homework, he panicked and popped it in his mouth, lacking something better to do with it (the desk was hardly sanitary).

Immediately afterwards, he felt sick to his stomach. Oh dear Lord it had touched his bottom. It had touched the seats where various bottoms had sat. When was the last time these plastic school chairs were cleaned?!

But the jawbreaker made his mouth water, and it tasted divine. It would last for hours, possibly. Maybe all day. A delicious, albeit unsanitary, treat. At this point it would be useless not to finish it, wouldn't it? Double D pushed back the sick grumble of his mind and focused on class, aware that eyes were on him as he sucked on the treat, through from whom, he wasn't sure.

Most like Eddy and Ed, if they noted that his cheek was bulging as he worked on the simple classwork assignment. Though Ed wasn't the most observant detective of the bunch.

Double D giggled to himself.

By the end class, Double D was no closer to discerning the source of his note than he was one hour, thirty minutes, and 45 seconds ago. As the bell rang for their next period, and subsequently, lunch, he frowned at the taped note. Curiouser and curiouser. Was his admirer going to reveal themselves, or was it truly an elaborate prank to work him into a state of nerves. If it was, he certainly wasn't going to give in. Being around his friends and being teased by the sports teams had left him with nerves of steel.

Mostly.

Someone slapped him on the back and Double D nearly fell over, turning to glare at the offender. Kevin grinned down at him, wiggling his fingers in a wave again. "'Sup, double dorko. Have fun in class?"

Strangely, though he teased, it lacked as much malice in his tone as his friend's had. He was even nearly honest-to-God smiling, glancing at his bulging cheek with something a little different than curiosity. Perhaps a smug smirk?

"I'm certain you heard much of it from the back as you constantly whispers to your teammates," Double D teased, deciding if Kevin was going to act civil, Double D could do the same.

"Studying's not my style. I like, you know, sports. And video games and stuff." _And you_.

"Eloquent as ever," Double D chuckled, trying to keep from talking awkwardly around the jawbreaker in his mouth. Kevin grinned back at him, but that might have been the jawbreaker shifting in his mouth. He must have looked humorous.

"Yeah, well, big words are your deal. It's pretty rad—"

"Double D! Hurry up, they're going to run out of gravy!" Ed shouted from the hallway. Immediately he turned, waving Kevin a farewell.

"I hope you fair well in the rest of your day." Then he was out the door, following Eddy and Ed towards their woodworking class. Even Eddy enjoyed that class.

"Ed, you do realize lunch is not until halfway through our next class?"

"He was just saving your ass from Kevin, duh." Eddy rolled his eyes. "You both looked like you were about to bust a gut— hey! What's that in your mouth?"

Both eyes zeroed in on Double D, who looked wildly startled before it hit him. The jawbreaker. He began to sweat. "O-oh, nothing. It was just something from my secret admirer. A harmless, and thoughtful, gift."

"That's a jawbreaker! And you didn't even think to share it?" Eddy groaned.

"Excuse me, Eddy, but a jawbreaker is about as large as my thumb. I hardly think I could successfully slice it into three separate pieces, and besides; it was my gift."

Eddy harrumphed and Ed clasped his hands sweetly. "Oh, Double D, that is so sweet. Your admirer knows you as well as my mom does me."

"Ed, that is an interesting comparison. Your mother must be very proud." He chuckled. "He or she _is_ rather sweet."

"More like kiss-ass," Eddy groused. They arrived at the classroom with minutes to spare, and what was laid before them made Double D squeal

He had almost forgotten about the new project ideas they were to brainstorm with a few partners for their upcoming final semester project. Oh, this was so exciting!

"Would you calm down, Edd?" grumbled Eddy. Double D might have said that out loud. "We do this shit every day. Our scams could blow the pants off of all of these losers; this is in our proverb-whatever bag."

Double D ignored Eddy. The new tools gleamed from the teacher's desk; Double D thought he might faint.

* * *

"I told you not to play with last week's pile of shavings, Ed! I think I have a wood shaving in my hair," Eddy remarked as they moved to the lunchroom. He picked at his locks until Ed reached over and picked up the small piece, sniffing it before he threw it on the ground.

"Don't litter, Ed," Double D scolded, scurrying to pick up the forgotten wood shaving.

"It's a tiny piece of wood, for Christ's sake. You're too conscientious," Eddy mocked, remembering one of the words Double D had taught him over the course of their friendship. "Live a little! Drop that wood, take off your sock; let it loose."

Eddy was grinning, but Double D glared at him and touched his hat. "You know exactly why I don't take this off." Lord knows what would happen then.

Ed fluttered his eyelashes imploringly. "That would be so cool! You'd look as great as the monsters in my comic book." That was very likely a compliment, coming from Ed.

Double D shifted his bag onto his other shoulder, rubbing the joint worryingly as they walked. School required heavy textbooks with little time between class. It was easier to walk straight across the school than try to rush through a stop at his locker. "Thank you.. I think. Very kind, Ed." They arrived at the double doors where Eddy generally liked to make an entrance, the familiar brown holding so many memories for Double D.

They walked inside, immediately bombarded by the sounds of laughter and a chatter. A few voices stopped to glance and see who had come through the door, but once they determined there was no worth in paying attention to them, they turned to their own devices.

"Gravy!" Ed squealed in excitement, charging straight for the lunch line. Double D considered his options of perhaps a banana with his own lunch, when he realized he had forgotten it. "Oh, darn—Eddy!" He called to inform his friend, but he was brushing his hair back with imaginary suavity, approaching a group of giggling girls.

_This can only end in tragedy. Best leave him to it. _Decided, Double D strolled back from where he had come. He took a left down the hallway from the woodworks class, and continued towards his locker.

When he arrived, curiously, there were two students surrounding the area. Specifically, his locker. Double D squinted and noted almost immediately that it was Kevin and one of his friends, grinning as he leaned against the blue metal. Double D approached with the wariness of a frightened colt, ready to bolt at a moment's notice. He came closer to the two, curiosity overriding apprehension (were they there to threaten him in some way? Kevin wasn't much of a bully anymore, but Eddy had apparently tried his patience that day).

"He's got no idea, does he?" The green-haired individual chuckled, obscuring Kevin from Double D's view. Raising a brow in confusion, Double D slowed his movements and stilled, deciding whether or not he wished to know what they were discussion or interrupt.

His curiosity won very soon, and he rounded the nearest corner, peeking to watch the two. From the new vantage point he could see about half of Kevin, and when his friend shifted to the left, he could see what his hands were doing. He was… he was placing a piece of paper, a very _specific_ type of paper, onto his locker. Bolded, black letters were obvious, but Double D could not make out the words.

"Nah. He's so clueless sometimes." Kevin smiled at his locker, almost fondly, and something in Double D's gut churned, his fingers tightening on their hold over his messenger bag.

"What are you gonna do when he finds out? I mean, you can't expect him to be prepared and think it over. It's gonna be all or nothing. Though, I guess he could later, but at the time you might not get that dance."

Kevin's expression turned somber. "Yeah. Guess we'll see. Maybe not the best approach, but definitely more interesting. The dork might appreciate it if he can get over the shock." He grinned.

Double D didn't understand much of their conversation, but one thing was immediately obvious. Interesting indeed! Oh, that Kevin. Double D's brows furrowed with frustration, and then anger.

_So it was a prank._

For a very short moment, Double D's heart had been beating to a new tune; one that involved Kevin. For a moment he felt a surge of adulation, a happy blush lighting his cheeks, and then he realized what was going on. Kevin and his friend (maybe the whole team) had sent those notes; Kevin would never be attracted to him. It was a prank. A scam. A device created in order to humiliate the only truly intelligent being in the school's vicinity. In front of everyone! He was about three-point-five seconds from running over to the jocks; Double D wanted nothing more than to storm up to the jocks and give them a piece of his mind, but he also knew that rushing into situations emotionally and irrationally was no way to handle things. A plan would be required; something to prove to them that messing with "nerd" was by no means a way to pass the time.

As soon as he could get over the burn of being duped by Kevin.

When they had vacated the premises, Double D rushed to his locker and gazed at the print.

**You're sweet as the jawbreakers I know you love.**

**Meet me on the dance floor.**

Double D smoothed his thumb over the text, something in his heart fluttering. When he recollected the true purpose of the note, he crushed it beneath his fingers and slammed open his locker. He was not as hungry as he had been, but his parents would wonder why he hadn't eaten his food, and a heart-to-heart was hardly on Double D's agenda.

He stormed back into the lunchroom, unsurprised to see Eddy chatting up a group of girls. They looked pinched. Ed was nowhere to be found—perhaps _in_ the tub of gravy.

"Why the nerve of him—" Double D continued to grumble. "—Eddy!" Shocked by the volume and tone of Double D's voice, Eddy turned—

—and was dragged easily away from gaggle of women, who sighed in their own relief.

It took only about five seconds for Eddy to regain his usual crass demeanor. "What the- what the fuck, Edd. Let me go, I was killin' it! Did you see the looks on their faces?"

"Their demeanors hardly warranted any thoughts of adoration; if anything, I am to thank for tearing you away!" Double D turned on him, his cheeks burning red with frustration. "And an interesting choice of words, Eddy. I require your assistance."

"With what?" he snorted, a little surprised by how red-faced Edd was. "How to pick up girls?"

"Something a little more your area, I think. It involves Kevin."

* * *

Thoughts?


	4. Revenge is a Dish Best servED Cold

Hey, guuyyss~ wassap. This part is mostly dialogue and describing what they're going to do, so 3: they couldn't stop fucking talking i'm sorry

Also, I changed Jr High to simply high school because it feels weird making 12 year olds make out okay.

LOL I tried with the title, okay?

* * *

"That asshole!" Eddy screeched, slamming his hands down on the table. "I shouldn't be surprised shovel chin would do something like this."

"Not cool," Ed whined, munching on his sandwich a la gravy.

A part of Double D was touched by Eddy's and Ed's anger; it showed they cared about Double D and his well-being. He would have been an imbecile to miss the concerned look Eddy had presented when he first informed him as to the identity of his secret admirer.

"Yes, well, it is quite the pity," was Double D's intended sarcastic reply, but it felt like there was too much truth behind the his words—more than he would prefer to admit. "I apologize for my rather thoughtless actions previously in pulling you away from your potential dates, Eddy. I usually have a much better handle on my emotions."

Eddy gazed at him like he was the world's biggest idiot and sat back down, crossing his arms. "Jeez Edd, it's fine. I'm way too cool for the chicks, anyway. They'll always be wantin' a piece of this."

Double D giggled. "You never did show me your brother's no doubt fascinating narrative to get women vying for your attention."

Eddy waved his hand dismissively, pulling his book bag next to him to fish for something inside the torrential mess. "Doesn't matter anymore, sock-head. We've got bigger fish to fry; at least two of them, if I know Kevin. I bet he has a team of people ready to laugh and humiliate you at the dance." He seemed to grow angry with his own words.

"L-let's not be hasty and try for them all." Getting back at Kevin was one thing, but an entire team that could very possibly run him out of school was another. "I would prefer to have my bones unbroken. Just Kevin is fine."

"Oh, come off it, they wouldn't actually hurt you. We lived through Kevin, after all."

"You mean _you _lived through Kevin, Eddy. I was often left mercifully alone much due to my delicate constitution."

Kevin had actually never truly hurt him. On that train of thought, Kevin had always been downright _pleasant_ when around Double D. He had rarely actually called him a "dork", and he seemed to admire Double D on some level.

It made him doubt himself, to a degree. Hostilities between the two had never escalated in the same manner that Eddy's, and occasionally Ed's, had. What if he was making a terrible mistake?

That would not explain, though, why his friend and he had laughed about the surprise and "shock" he would feel. Due to Kevin's background, it was only logical to assume that he meant to surprise him and then laugh in his face. Appreciate, indeed.

"Yeah, well, you're just lucky I'm a fucking good friend. Now, onto the payback." Eddy rubbed his hands together, snickering delightedly. "I've got the perfect plan."

Double D strengthened his resolve. "Plan away, Eddy."

—-

"Fish paste, Double D? That's what you want to dump on Kevin?" Eddy rammed his foot into the side of the building as they exited the school yard, only succeeding in making himself flounder about in pain. "Where the hell are we supposed to find any?"

"Calm yourself, Eddy. We don't wish to maim them; just a simple lesson. It will require fairly elaborate planning and technique for it to go unnoticed until the moment it is revealed." Double D trudged through the snow alongside Ed, Eddy a few yards behind them, clutching his foot.

"I can't believe you won't let me come up with something better. I say he deserves it! He's maimed us enough times."

"If you are referring to brain damage—" Double D smiled at Eddy's attempt, "—then it is likely. However, we have not been 'permanently damaged', as maiming suggests, save for the scar here and there."

"You mean _you _haven't, mister sissy-pants. Kevin never beat your ass."

"Name calling again, Eddy?" Double D bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "I apologize that you're bitter."

"I wish I had warm toast that I could stuff in my brain," Ed interrupted, pressing his gloved hands around his bare ears. Double D was, of course, dressed appropriately, and Eddy not so.

"Earmuffs, Ed," Double D sang.

"But they're so uncomfortable!"

"Earmuffs schmearmuffs," Eddy griped, wrapping his arms around himself against the chill.

"One day the frost is going to bite and you will both be sorry, " Double D harrumphed.

"Biting frost or not, where the hell are we gonna get fish paste?"

"I happen to know a very traditionally influenced son of a shepherd."

"Rolf!" Ed shouted in excitement.

"Rolf, indeed. His variety of meats may be a tad extravagant, but I have no doubt that he will be able to provide for us exactly what we need—provided he accepts, of course."

That was an issue in its own entirety.

The walk to Rolf's house was a cold one. Double D suggested helpfully that they stop at Eddy's house for earmuffs, which was only a stone's throw away, but the boy persisted in being truly difficult.

"You truly are an enigma," Double D drawled as they trudged through the snow, footprints stark against the white background.

"I don't even like eg-what'sits for breakfast," Eddy grumbled, to Double D's puzzlement.

"Eggs, chicken, waffles, and gravy is my favorite." Ed grinned at the two of them, swinging his arms gayly.

"For breakfast?" Mind, eggs was perfectly acceptable, and waffles, but chicken and gravy? Hardly the food of champions. Ed was a very special champion, though.

"What, you mean you _don't_ eat and drink gravy for every meal of the day, Double D?" Eddy replied with his usual petulant sarcasm.

"Fresh fruit, Eddy. Fresh fruit."

—-

"Ah, Ed-boys! What a…pleasant surprise." Rolf was outside, wearing his orange sweater from school and shoveling snow from his driveway.

"Good day, Rolf! My, it's cold outside, don't you think?" Double D began, clasping his hands.

"Ahh, the Double D Ed-boy, yes, fine, yes. Like Nana's sense of humor." He rubbed his slightly furred chin, raising one brow. "To what do I owe…?"

Double D was only somewhat relieved Rolf decided to forgo pleasantries and cut to the proverbial chase; Rolf was an intelligent, albeit strange individual. It was obvious the three had come for a reason.

"Well, Rolf, I—I mean we—were hoping that you might be able to provide a certain popular confection for a, um, special purpose." At Rolf's suspicious look, he raised a hand, growing flustered. "I am of course willing to pay," he added after a moment of hesitation.

"Pay?!" Eddy shouted in his usual manner of situational discord. "Hey, we ain't—" But his mouth was soon covered my Double D's woolen mitten.

Rolf peered at them with further suspicion. "Spit it out, Ed-boys. Do not hide like lint in Rolf's belly button."

How charming. Double D shuffled closer, flanked on either side by his friends. "Would you happen to carry, oh, about two pounds of fish paste?"

"What?" Rolf frowned. "What do you need with the paste of fish?"

It was apparently the 'master of scam's' time to shine. "You see, Rolf," Eddy began in an ingratiate, simpering tone of voice. "Poor Ed here has a.." he paused. "…_condition_."

"What condition is this?" Was Rolf's bemused reply.

"Because of all the gravy he eats, his body's.. uh, rejecting it, you see."

"No, not the gravy!" Ed cried melodramatically.

"Oh– uh, yes! It's tragic," Double D added, going along for the sake of things. The foolproof state of this plan was fast crumbling, but Rolf was a good friend of Kevin's; he highly doubted planning his humiliation was a favorite pastime of his.

Despite their hopes, Rolf looked unconvinced, glancing between the three of them. Double D swallowed, tapping his mittens together with an anxious grin. They were such fools to assume that Rolf would not mind in assisting them! He would need to conjure a new plan, perhaps one that they could accomplish on their own. "If you don't have any of your delightful fish paste to spare, it is fine—"

"Rolf smells lies like the manure of Beatrice's behind," Rolf stated, standing straight. "The truth."

Double D sighed in defeat. "It's a matter in which I'm not sure you'd wish to partake, Rolf. I had hoped to spare your feelings, but it appears—"

"Kevin's gonna totally humiliate Double D at the dance tomorrow!" Eddy interrupted, impatient just to get the stupid plan over with. "He sent him fake love notes, so we need your stupid fish stuff so we can get back at him."

_Oh, dear_. Double D winced. "Rolf, I—"

"Is what the short Ed-boy claims true?" Rolf turned to Double D, crossing his arms as he faced down an anxious Double D.

"Well I certainly believe so, I mean- it's very likely-" Rolf was intimidating at the best of times, and Double D grew tongue-tied at the worst. He swallowed and lowered his hands, which had raised themselves in front of him in a classic defense pose, and stood tall.

"Yes," Double D finally stated.

For a moment, all was relatively quiet. Ed breathed into his hands loudly, and the sounds of laughter and excited screams of children exiting school sounded from the distance. The air bit into all of their cheeks. Double D was about to break the awkward silence when Rolf shifted on his feet and picked up his shovel. Without a word he began to work again.

"Rolf?" Double D ventured. When no answer was received, the Ed's shared collective looks of frustration at the often enigmatic Rolf.

Was it some sort of custom? Should they wait here until he answered them? Double D feared that perhaps he would reject them, or worse, continue to completely ignore them, when Rolf paused in his work.

"So casanova Kevin makes a mockery of the traditions of adolescent love, eh?" He shoveled some snow to the side. "Before the sun sets tonight, come to Rolf."

Double D could have hugged Rolf had he not looked as if he was perspiring under his clothing, already working diligently again.

—-

_The frigid air is as biting, if not more, than yesterday_, Double D observed, pressing his mittens flat against his frosted cheeks. His breath was a welcome respite when he cupped his mittens in front of his mouth, slightly warmer air ghosting over his skin.

_Cold, cold, cold, cold,_ he mentally chanted, half-jogging on his way towards Ed's home. Eddy should be there or be on his way at this point, though his lenience to be late was never of help.

Blowing into his palms, Double D quickly knocked on Ed's door, unsure as to whether or not Ed might actually hear it. He tended to sit in his basement watching cartoons and horror movies without any semblance of time management.

Luckily, the door opened soon enough, Ed's head poking out. He was now adorned with a furry ear hat and looked particularly charming with a grin lighting his face.

"Morning Double D!" Ed called loudly, despite the five or so feet between them. "Where's Eddy?"

"I haven't the faintest," was Double D's slightly irate reply. He rubbed his mittens over his cheeks. "Late as always. This habit will come to bite him when there comes a time to be earlier than usual, like today. I have no doubt that Eddy stays up late through the night, listening to his brother's records or watching television."

"I wasn't watching TV. I'll have you know I do very important things," Eddy piped up from behind Double D, patting him on the back a little too heartily. Double D nearly stumbled into Ed, who then wrapped his arms around Double D and hauled him into an affectionate, somewhat stinky hug.

Double D returned the hug briefly and then pulled away. "Showering regularly is the accepted norm, Ed. Or at least changing your shirt every day."

"I haven't washed my clothes in a while," Ed shrugged. That would explain the slight stench. He was a normally fairly clean individual, save for his feet and other extremities occasionally.

"Enough chit-chat! We're gonna be late for our date, boys. Jeez, you're always holding us up, Edd!"

Double D sputtered, but followed Eddy as he took off down the road towards their school.

—-

"Are you certain about this plan, Eddy?" Double D asked for the third time as he assembled the ladder—the very tall ladder that stretched dangerously toward the high ceilings of the gym. It was embarrassing early in the morning, and most of the teachers had yet to arrive to school. The gym teacher didn't come until second period, which gave them time.

"How many times have I gotta tell you you; yes! It's the only plan I could think of on such short notice. My brother used to do it to me all the time, only he'd use ice and it would be above my door." Eddy picked up the large bucket and tested its weight before giving it to Ed. The tall Ed held onto it, grinning from ear to ear in prospective excitement.

"Where's the bucket gonna go, Double D?" Ed asked, holding out the large container imploringly.

"Well, Ed, the bucket will be placed on the steel lights above. If my calculations are correct—" he squinted and stepped back, observing the gymnasium "—the length of the floor is 84 feet long and 50 feet wide, the standard for most basketball courts."

Double D moved until he was in the middle of the gym, pointing to the circles where basketball players would take their shots in practices. "This large circle has a six foot radius and this here," he gestured to the smaller circle inside, "is three feet. Definitively large enough for Kevin. We can choose from three different points in the room, though the center of the gymnasium would provide for the most, erm, entertainment."

Double D smiled at his friends. Eddy nodded, crossing his arms thoughtfully. "I like it. Ol' shovelchin will never see it coming." He laughed uproariously before Double D shushed him, wiggling his finger.

"You never know who might be about," he cautioned.

"Whatever, sock-head. Get up there and work your magic."

Double D made a sound of discontent, but shakily made his way up the ladder as Eddy and Ed held onto the legs. "This is completely unsafe," he complained, but continued until he was too high to look down without fainting. The ceiling was hardly intricately designed, nor ready for a special set-up, but the fluorescent lights occupied long steel rods that connected perpendicular to the ceiling were sufficient for their purposes. Double D made the calculations in his head, considering how tight the rope should be, how much would be needed, and how fast it could be done.

"Do you have the rope, Eddy?"

"Check and check! How much do ya need?"

"In order to have access to the rope—enough that it will stretch downward into our capable hands, I will need at least 42 feet in length. Where did you get this rope again, Eddy?"

"I know a guy," he answered vaguely. Double D had a feeling it had something to do with his brother.

Eddy climbed up the ladder with the bucket and rope, the rope tied to the handle of the bucket, and handed it to Double D. "Careful," he cautioned breezily, but his eyes stayed on Double D as he fashioned the bucket over the spot they had chosen, finished with his work, and was safely down.

"Excellent," Double D announced. "The trap is now ready, gentlemen. The length in my hand extends over two of the lights and drops down where the table is currently placed." The dance was organized and ready; all that needed to be done was to bring in the food and a few sparse decorations; the ceiling decorations had already been placed and conveniently hidden.

"It shouldn't be easily noticed, and when the time has come, I will signal one of you to pull the rope, releasing the fish paste."

"What's the signal?"

Double D thought for a moment. "Considering the position is in the dance floor, I will lead Kevin into a dance. Once I pull myself away from him, that means the rope should be pulled." Just to make sure it was understood, Double D took Ed and positioned him, showing them in close proximity before he stepped back a few feet.

"The force of the blast will most likely hit other students, so I am trusting you two to clear the floor when it's time."

He was willing to sacrifice his own attire if it meant getting his own revenge.

* * *

Thoughts?


	5. Uh oh, Edd

THE CLIMAX..!

I know some of you said it was kind of fast-paced, but it's not supposed to be 19 chapters long coughcough. I'm going for short but enough that it satisfiessss.

ENJOY

* * *

That school day was one to be feared. Double D was already exhausted, lacking a proper night's sleep, and didn't wish to see Kevin or any of his friends.

Luckily, Eddy had nearly given up on his plan to woo the female species, and decided showing up to the dance with friends would be much more his style, which was in turn a relief for Double D. He didn't blame Eddy; women were intimidating (e.g. Nazz, Sarah, Marie) and not to be trifled with.

There was something to be said though about the classroom setting; it was deceptively easy for Double D to completely ignore Kevin and his friends and focus on the lesson when he couldn't see them. Although hearing their racket was another matter, Double D could easily filter out the excess noise. He was very much looking forward to avoiding Kevin's eye through the school day.

When he looked at the blackboard and saw in large, white letters, _Group Work Today!_,Double D hefted a hearty sigh, cursing his fortune.

Naturally, it was Double D's incomprehensible fortune and luck that left him in the worst of situations. Mind, this "situation" was not as dire as some previously when scamming with Eddy, but this was hardly his idea of frivolity.

His partner had introduced himself some minutes ago, after Double D was forced into group activity work. "Hey, sweetie," Nathan said, his voice lilting with obvious tease and his smile cool. Normally he was a very tolerant being, but this was the adversary which had planned something dastardly.

"Hello," said Double D. It was clipped, but his tone nervously dismissive. As much as he despised him at the moment, Nathan was taller, broader, and most of all, Kevin's friend; part of the sports clique that preceded over much of the school's local bullying. He couldn't be entirely rude.

"You're one of Kevin's friends, all the way from elementary school, amirite?" He grinned. "He never talks about shit from before, you know." He waved his hand, most likely gesturing to the metaphorical past. "You should tell me stories about how totally lame Kevin was. Well, he's still lame, but he could kick my ass around now that he's captain."

Double D saw Kevin glare at them from across the room; Nathan was not a quiet boy. He was actually quite the chatterbox, and while Double D was not antisocial, he didn't fancy talking to Kevin's cohort at that point in time.

"Friend is not a word I would use to describe our relationship." It sounded cold even to his own ears—and so it should.

Nathan looked strangely perturbed by his answer. "Oh? Kev talks about the dork squad a lot. Seems kinda fond if you're askin' me."

The sharp crack that followed may have been Double D's pencil snapping. "Shall we get to work?" Double D interrupted, picking up a pen instead. Nazz and Nathan, who were close to each other, exchanged looks.

—-

Double D adjusted the bowtie he had adorned for this occasion specifically. It was his father's, of course, one he borrowed with permission. His parents kept it for posterity; they were suit and tie businesspeople, but for a school dance they would relent. He felt strange wearing something that he had been told would look good on him when he was planning to humiliate the boy who had planned on doing the same to him.

There was a part of him that wished he would be expecting a real date, with usual anxieties and pulse flutters that marked excitement and nerves.

"You like adorable," his mother remarked as she snapped his picture, grinning behind the camera. His father was a heavy presence behind her, his frown lifting somewhat when he met Double D's eyes.

"Don't get into too much trouble with those friends of yours," he said gently, patting his son's sock-clad head. "And remember that girls have, what do they call it, cooties?"

"Yes, mother. Father. Cooties, indeed." Double D giggled, trying to wave them away. He was easily embarrassed and wished to still the flashes from his mother's camera, but secretly a part of him enjoyed being preened with attention. Perhaps it was to make up for his parent's absence last year.

"I will take my leave now," he announced, strutting for the door, followed by his parents laughter.

He briefly wondered what he looked like in their eyes, young and supposedly innocent.

—-

Double D arrived at Eddy's house just in time to witness him get engulfed by a cloud of perfume.

"Jeez, mom, I'm fine! I don't need anymore—my clothes smell fine! Yes.. yes, love you, bye! Double D's out there!"

After a minute or so of waiting, Eddy stumbled out onto his driveway, greeting Double D with a saucy smile.

His gaze swept down Double D, taking in the dark navy tuxedo vest and matching bowtie."Went with bowtie, eh Double D? Wonder what shovelhead Kevin will think." Eddy fingered the darned thing when he was close enough, pulling at the fabric.

"Careful, Eddy."

"Afraid I'll mess up your digs?" he snorted. "You're such a neat freak. Let's hurry and find Ed! I hope the lug's ready."

Double D smiled at his friend before he looped their arms together.

"Aw, come on, Double D," Eddy whined, mock-tugging his arm from where it was hooked around Double D's, but he was smiling, too, and didn't actually pull away.

The walk to Ed's was, naturally short, but quiet. Double D hadn't seriously expected Eddy to keep their arms together, but the warmth of one of his closest friends was a welcome one. To know that he had people on his side was a boost; no matter what happened, he would have his friends with him.

"Thank you, Eddy," Double D said simply as they approached Ed's door. Eddy looked at him, really looked at him, and his smile was genuine.

"It's no big deal. It's what friends are for." He unlooped their arms and banged quickly on Ed's door. "Come on out, lumpy!" They could hear something crash inside, and then the sound of Ed's laughter and Sarah's enraged shout echoed.

They exchanged looks just as Ed barreled out of the door and took off down the street. "Run, guys, run!"

"I'm glad that I have no siblings," Double D remarked carefully, watching Sarah in a sparkling blue dress run after Ed. Jimmy followed at a much slower pace, patting down his curly hair.

They exchanged looks. "Shall we?"

—-

The dance was as horrific as Double D had remembered. The gymnasium teemed with sweaty, filthy students and the entire vicinity smelled of too much cologne and perfume. Double D wrinkled his nose.

They made their way closer inside, avoiding the sweaty bodies of their fellow students. Double D briefly focused on the thin line that nobody but his friends and he would note hanging behind the table of food. Eddy caught his eye and smiled tightly; things would set in motion as soon as he needed.

"There is nothing more exciting than adolescent mingling." It was somewhat sarcastic.

So far, Double D did not see Kevin. He stepped closer to the wall, a cool respite to the bodies lumped around the dance floor, awkward but not without vigor. Eddy was just ahead of him and looked around excitedly for someone to harass. Ed, well, he had gone to eat, as he was prone to do. Double D didn't think it was such a bad idea; he had skipped lunch and dinner, unable to force down anything over his nerves.

He turned to Eddy: "Do you think I should get some pun—" Double D stopped suddenly, and his hand, which had grabbed onto Ed's shoulder, went impossibly tight. "Kevin," he whispered at Eddy's startled look. The red-head was hanging around the table, talking to Rolf against the far wall. He didn't want to know what they were saying.

Eddy and Double D nodded to each other, turning to go another way—anywhere that Kevin didn't inhabit.

"Hey, Double D!" Double D stopped just short of smacking into Nazz, who looked beautiful in her long, slim green dress, pure white gloves slipped over her palms. "You like nice," she shouted over the music, which was something fun, if a little outdated.

Double D tugged self-consciously on his vest and bowtie. "Y-yes, thank you. You look so, um, very pretty in your dress," he stammered, brushing his hand over his cheek. It was becoming viciously hot in their corner of the room. Nazz tugged on Double D's wrist. "Come dance with me?"

Oh dear. Just like last year. No, that would not be a good idea. Eddy would throw a fit.

However, Nazz was already tugging him to the center of the dance floor, fairly close to his trap, giggling as she pressed his hands on her shoulder. "Like this," she said cheekily in remembrance of their dance long ago.

"O-oh. My." Double D had a sinking feeling he looked as ridiculous as he had the year previous, but Nazz had him spin her around, his fingers already sweaty from prolonged exposure to Nazz.

"I-I really must be going," he tried after a round of awkwardly dancing along with one of the prettiest girls in school, in his opinion. "I'm sure Eddy would love to dance with you though."

Ignoring him, Nazz looked around, gaze flickering searchingly, and then she tugged Double D to the right of them, towards food. "Um, how about we get some punch? Then we can dance some more." Her attention seemed fixated on something else, Double D noted as he was tugged. Odd; who would she be waiting for if she had decided to dance with Double D? Perhaps she intended to make a party jealous; if so, it was something in which Double D wished to have no part.

"I have, um, an essay I remembered to write. I really should be going," he protested, trying to remove his arm, when a voice made them both freeze.

"Hey Nazz." A pause. "Double Dweeb."

Double D heard his own breath catch, and wasn't sure what expression he carried facing Nazz. Terrified, perhaps. She looked at him, pursed her lips, and then let go of his hand.

"Hey, Kev. What's up? Enjoying yourself?" She smiled knowingly at him and he flushed, though it could have been the heat. Edd was still reeling somewhat; he looked handsome in a fitted dark suit and tie. Something inside of Double D seized up.

"Not much, Nazz. Was just wondering if you wouldn't mind if I stole Double D for a bit." He shot Double D a nervous smile.

Double D had known that Kevin would reveal himself as his secret admirer in some way and then perhaps tease and ridicule him—Double D could practically hear him laughing _"You really thought anyone would like you? April fools, loser!"_—but he seemed truly was something in his expression that gave Double D pause.

By the time he had stopped thinking quite so hard and was brought to the present, Kevin was already taking him by the arm as Nazz pushed him forward. "I- oh." He felt a blush rise in his cheeks when Kevin placed a hand around his waist, pulling him towards the middle where it was shockingly less crowded.

"I have something to confess," Kevin began when they were situated, not yet dancing. Double D knew he should do something, but he was still frozen. A few people were staring, including Ed and Eddy, who moved towards the snack table. Double D was miraculously in position; everything was ready, but something wasn't right.

Kevin didn't look like he was about to reveal something huge. He looked shy, his gaze cast down until he forced himself to meet Double D's eyes. Something was wrong.

"You know those messages you got, and the jawbreaker and everything?" he wasn't looking at Double D directly, casting his gaze to the side. "Well, that was me."

Now he met Double D's eyes, his expression confident, but fragile; like it could be shattered if Double D chose.

"Look, I don't know how it happened, all right?" Kevin said with some frustration, misinterpreting Double D's horrified expression. "I know I'm not the best kinda guy, and you're not— I don't know if you like guys, or even me. I just thought this was the best way to do it, if I was ever gonna try. I sent the notes to make you see something besides the guy you know me as. I really kinda like you."

Two things happened simultaneously: 1. Double D's heart clenched in a painfully happy way, realizing Kevin wasn't about to make a fool of him. He was serious, and 2. He needed to stop Eddy.

Kevin looked expectantly at Double D, who was still frozen, now beginning to sweat under the heat and what he had just learned. He hadn't spoken yet, he realized, because Kevin was attempting to pull off of him, looking disappointed. "Look, if you don't like me, it's fine."

"No! No, I'm simply… um, shocked. You mean you were…sincere in your notes?"

"Yeah, I like you, even if you are all brainy and hang out with a couple of dorks." Kevin made as if to pull him closer now, one hand wrapping smoothly around Double D's waist, that cocky smile back in place, but Double D pressed his hands against his—admittedly solid—chest and pushed him away.

"Dear Lord. I've made a terrible mistake," Double D breathed in horror.

"What are you talking about?" asked a now very bemused Kevin.

But Double D ignored him for the moment because he had bigger fish to fry—or stop from frying, actually. It with even more heart-stopping horror he realized he had _stepped away_from Kevin and the dance floor was almost completely clear.

_Oh Lord, the signal!_ Double D spun around and saw Eddy motion for him to move out of the way quickly, picking up the rope.

"Kevin!" Double D tried to warn as Eddy _yanked_ on the length. Damn.

There was no time to waste. Double D turned and shoved Kevin as hard as he could; he heard him grunt and stumble back. Double D watched as Kevin flailed, his face twisting with shock and pain as he fell back onto his bottom a few feet away—just before the bucket's contents enveloped Double D in a rush.


	6. Eddcellent

Warnings for fluff ;)

* * *

The effort it took to keep himself from vomiting was nothing short of herculean. The stench of the paste so strongly enveloped him that its taste seem to coat Double D's throat and tongue until he was gagging, one hand pressed tightly under his chin. The scent of fish paste or sauce on a meal was usually a delicious touch, but the paste itself smelled of decaying fish. It was a very near thing.

There had been a small part of him, though, that reminded him at least Kevin was relatively safe.

He was now seated in a classroom with the windows open in order to air out, his head wrapped in a towel from the boys' locker room. Kevin had graciously taken him to said locker room for a long shower and then fetched his old uniform, still stuffed in his locker. The wrinkles irritated Double D, and it smelled slightly of old sweat, but it was a vast improvement to his own stench. Kevin's earlier expression and shout of "dude, gross!" was proof of that.

Blessedly, Kevin hadn't questioned the why's and how's, although he seemed desperate for an explanation. For this small mercy, Double D was glad. He would, however, require an explanation soon.

Double D was in constant beration of his own actions; how stupid he had been! Misunderstanding a conversation was one thing, but it had also been blatant disbelief that lead him to think it was a prank.

"You alright?" Kevin's voice brought Double D to the surface. He touched the towel on his head self-consciously. His hat was unfortunately ruined, but Eddy had offered (surprisingly) to fetch another one of his supply at his home. Discreetly, hopefully making up an incident for his parents to believe.

"Fine," he answered, a little awkwardly. The basketball court was being cleaned and purged and the dance had moved to the auditorium, where people seemed to be having a good time, luckily. No one was outright blaming any of Ed's quite yet—he wasn't sure any of them realized what had even happened. Most of them pitied Double D.

Currently, they were alone in the empty classroom, and a part of Double D wished it wasn't so. With others at least he wouldn't be facing Kevin alone. Kevin was seated on top of a desk next to Double D, his foot propped on the back of another seat. One arm rested on his knee, the other gesturing vaguely in the air as he asked "so what was that all about?"

Double D sighed, propping his knees up to lay his head on them. "A miscalculation," he answered, not quite sure how to admit he had taken his intentions as less than savory.

"What kind of miscalculation?"

Double D plucked at the wrinkled material of the too-large baseball jersey. He faintly wondered if Kevin would wear it when the season began. "A stupid one." Double D sniffed his hand, wondering if the lingering smell was his imagination. "I… thought that your letters were fake," he finally admitted. Kevin's brow furrowed and he scratched his head.

"Fake?"

"I discovered they were from you, and I—" Double D mentally winced at the tremor in his own voice "—I thought that it was a ruse; a prank."

He hoped he didn't have to reveal any more than that; it seemed obvious a conclusion at this point. Kevin looked away from him and out the window; the stars shone brilliantly that night.

"So you found out it was me, and because you knew it was me, you thought I was going to somehow use it as a prank?" He sounded rightfully displeased, a deep frown etched upon his features.

"I had, um, thought that per-perhaps you would reveal yourself at the dance and then proceed to tease me for my futile hope." Double D covered his face with his hands, embarrassed beyond belief. To think, he was going to paste an innocent man! How the tables had turned.

Kevin was looking at Double D while he lamented in his hands. He observed the bright flush that extended to his ears and down past his neck. Despite how it made him feel kind of shitty, he could understand a little bit. Just enough that he didn't totally feel like leaving Double D right now to blow off some steam.

"Jeez, thanks for the faith," he said at length. That could have landed on him. "Glad to know where I stand."

"How was I to know that you weren't joking?! Your friend and you- you _laughed _about it." His frustration and nerves were beginning to manifest in tears, so he took a few deep breaths, hands shaking slightly as he smoothed them over the uniform. "I apologize for not trusting you. I never thought you would like a boy, let alone me. You are, after all, the very picture of masculinity." Double D traced the red 01 on the uniform, proof of that fact.

"Guess so," Kevin admitted. His anger was quickly cooled with understanding. "Doesn't mean it's not true."

They were silent after that, focusing on the faint laughter and the snow that drifted over the desks from the open window. Double D shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, aware the towel on his head didn't exactly help. Kevin stood up and closed the window, taking off his suit jacket, which had luckily escaped the splatter. Unfortunately, his shoes and pants had not been so lucky.

"You owe me a suit," Kevin said quietly behind him. Double D jumped, realizing his intentions when he dropped the jacket over his shoulders. It was still warm.

"I will forever be mortified," he bemoaned, pulling the jacket tighter around him. "I will sew it myself if I must."

"Nah." Kevin smiled and plopped down on top of the desk Double D was sitting in, his grin infectious. Tentatively, Double D smiled back, pushing a stray wet strand of hair under the towel. He would take it off, only he didn't wish to expose his head. "You're just fine."

"Me?" Double D's brows furrowed with confusion; what did he mean by that statement?

"Yep. Just you." Kevin briefly looked nervous, and then he reached forward and carefully took Double D's chin in hand, tilting it to look at him. "Hey, I've got a question for you that I never got to ask."

Double D could feel himself breaking into a nervous sweat. "Um, pray tell," he stammered, hand poised as to grab Kevin's outstretched arm. He tugged his head out of Kevin's warm grasp and turned away, his cheeks burning. Something told him he knew what the question was going to be, and it didn't make it any easier. How had he not anticipated this outcome previously?

"Go out with me?"

When Double D managed to look over, Kevin's was also red, specifically his ears, and he was resolutely looking out the window. Double D swallowed and steadied the towel wrapped around his head, eyes flickering to the boy. He could say no, say he wasn't sure—because he wasn't entirely certain it was a good idea—but that also in turn might be hurting himself. To be truthful, the thought of being a part of Kevin's life in such a way was for what he had secretly been hoping, but refused to acknowledge.

Yet the prospect frightened him. It was unknown, possibly dangerous territory.

"If you don't want to, it's fine. I know that you were expecting something else. I get it." Kevin hopped off of the desk and shoved his hands into his pockets. "If you want some time, or I can just go…"

Double D was still frozen, his tongue refusing to move and form words in his mouth. His heart was beating so fast he thought he might become panicked.

"Yeah. Alright." He didn't sound hurt, just a little disappointed. "I'm not leaving yet. You can give that back before you leave or later." There was silence, and then the sound of footsteps. Kevin was leaving. Panic settled in Double D's chest.

_Speak! _his mind supplied.

"Nice bowtie by the way, sock-head."

Double D's chest loosened in a rush and he remembered _why _he wanted this so badly. He shouldn't let this chance go.

"Wait!" he yelped, standing up. Kevin was just at the door and turned, his apprehension obvious. "Wait, I—" Double D swallowed. "I would like that. I'd like to go out with you."

A half-grin broke out on Kevin's face before he could stop it; he ducked his head and grinned at the floor instead. "Yeah?" Lifting his head, he approached Double D. When he was close, on impulse he took one hand out of his pocket to reach for any part of Double D he could reach. Kevin found his hand, so much softer than his own, and brought it up to his face, kissing his knuckles gently. Double D flushed with obvious embarrassment.

"You are certainly the romantic," he stammered. Only looking at Kevin's handsome features made Double D realize how ridiculous he must look, awkward in Kevin's jersey, jacket, and towel.

"Something else you don't know about me, I guess." He shrugged, taking another step closer. Double D ducked his head, heart beating fast, and stared at Kevin's tie. It was crooked.

"Do you think the others will be wondering where we've gone? It's been a suitable length since Eddy left, surely—"

Kevin had gripped his chin again and forced his head upward. The movement was accompanied by a sharp gasp from Double D. "Kevin," he began, but could say no more when a pair of lips covered his own.

Kevin cupped Double D's jaw and tilted his head at a better angle, pulling back from the chaste kiss only to surge forward again, deeper this time. His free hand slid up under the towel and forced it to unravel and fall back. Double D's indignant yelp was muffled, and he tried to pull away, forcing his palms against Kevin's chest. Kevin was going to see!

Only, Kevin's eyes were closed, and he was holding Double D still with both hands, thumbs rubbing gentle circles above his ears. He continued to move their lips together with all gentleness until Double D finally relaxed in his hold, breath hitching into Kevin's mouth.

"There." Kevin grinned against Double D's lips. "It's official." Double D's face by this point was cherry red and he used Kevin's hands to hide his face. Unfortunately, his head, which was still exposed, was a mess of wet strands that laid wildly every which way. The long scar that covered a third of his scalp wasn't too obvious, but Kevin noticed it now that he was looking for it. It was a lot less worse than he expected.

That was how Eddy found them.

* * *

Thoughts?


	7. A Happy Edding

Sorry for the wait! Here we are.. the end! But there will be more fics.. maybe even set in this verse. Hope you like!

And a special thanks to all of you for being so supportive! I LOVE YOU!

To all people I didn't answer who were guests; thank you! Every comment makes me happy.

* * *

It was unfortunate that Double D had yet to explain to Eddy, due to the fish paste madness consuming their attentions, that it was not Kevin's fault. He had no idea what he had been assuming, but if the stormy expression on his face was anything from which Double D could infer, it was not of the most pleasant nature.

"What the hell are you doing, Double D?" Eddy snapped, marching over. His intent was most likely to tear Double D and Kevin from each other. Double D did not blame him; his hair was in disarray, the scar visible, and Eddy was fiercely protective when it came to anything relating to Double D's 'hat situation'. As much as Eddy pretended not to care, it was obvious that anything nefarious that had to do with his friends could enrage the short male.

"Calm yourself, Eddy," Double D tried, picking up the towel from where it had fallen on the desk. "Kevin was just—" He turned and witnessed Eddy's fist fly for Kevin's face.

"Eddy!" screeched Double D. Kevin's reflexes were luckily spot-on, and he caught Eddy's hand while jerking out of the way.

"You'll have to do better than that, curly-fry," Kevin taunted. He ducked, missing another wild punch. Double D mentally groaned. Must they always resort to violence?

"Curly-fry?! That's not even an insult!"

"Look who's offended anyway, dork!"

"Why, you…"

Double D was torn between worrying about both Kevin and Eddy and the desks they were using as obstacles. "Gentlemen, please!" His shout was ignored, predictably, and Kevin certainly didn't help by laughing and taunting Eddy. Luckily, Kevin didn't seem bent on_hurting _Eddy. He avoided his punches and jumped about, but otherwise hardly seemed perturbed by the physical disturbance.

It was ridiculous. Truly ridiculous that Kevin was unwilling or incapable of explanation, and Eddy was so ready to jump into the fray of misconception. Strangely, Double D felt himself smile.

Something about the entire situation was suddenly very funny. The picture of his friend and boyfriend both fighting (one more than the other) over him had Double D giggling into his hand. Both of the boys looked at him like he was mad, which only made Double D laugh harder. Very soon Kevin was chuckling along with him, hopping over the few desks to get to Double D.

"Find something funny?" Kevin teased, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Double D shook his head through his giggles. Eddy was scowling in front of them.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" he demanded. Double D gently extracted himself from Kevin.

"It seems, Eddy, that I had been mistaken." Double D offered a nervous smile in consolidation "Kevin had not been lying about his messages to me. I seemed to have, um, misunderstood him."

Eddy was silent, staring at them while he processed the information. He crossed his arms looking considerate briefly. "So what you're saying is," he began at length, "that I did all that work for _nothing_?!"

The situation diffused. Eddy's classic outburst made the tension dissipate almost instantly and Double D relaxed easily into their usual banter.

"You mean _I _did most of the work, Eddy. If I remember correctly, I was volunteered to hang the, pardon the term, _trap _above the school basketball court's floor."

Eddy scoffed, turning his attention to Kevin now. "What, so you like this shovel-faced chump?"

Before Kevin could properly respond, Double D took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Yes, Eddy. I do." Kevin looked a little shocked, and Double D _felt _a little shocked by it. The words felt like a promise, raw and new. It felt a little like a dream, to be honest. A long, arduous dream from which he would wake up at any given moment, more exhausted than when he had fallen asleep.

Kevin's grin was split wide. "I like you too, Double Doofus."

And as if to prove that fact to Eddy, prove that he was serious, Kevin leaned over and pecked him on the lips. Double D looked like he was fighting it through his shock, but his face quickly flushed bright red.

"We will have to work on your nicknames," Double D managed.

"Eugh! Don't do that in front of me. This is like my worst nightmare."

"Jealous?" Kevin taunted, wrapping an arm smoothly around Double D's waist.

"As if! This is worse than the time you made me kiss Double D here, you sick fuck."

The two shared an awkward I-don't-completely-hate-you-but-you're-still-a-jer k/loser-smile, and Double D only wished he had a comb or his hat.

Oh, yes! "Eddy, my hat, if you will?"

"Uhh." He remained empty-handed.

"Eddy, what have you been doing? Gallivanting about the auditorium, trying to entertain various scores of women?"

"Err."

"Eddy!"

* * *

Double D stared mournfully at the placeholder head's bald expanse where his "Friday" hat had once sat, content with its life of fabric. He pulled "Saturday" over his head instead, mentally promising himself he would wash it as soon as he returned home.

"Dude, they all look the same," a voice from behind him claimed. Double D turned and watched his boyfriend of exactly one week poke the glass to his ant farm, curiously leaning to peer inside.

"Don't touch that, please," Double D cautioned, on edge as Kevin paraded about his room. It was not their first morning going to school together, but it was the first Kevin had come early enough that he was invited inside.

This was in retrospect, a terrible idea. It was not that Double D disliked Kevin being in his room, of course, but he, as others did, had the tendency to destroy the quiet order by which his room was organized. "Please refrain from removing the pictures from the walls."

Kevin was picking up whatever caught his eye, and when he placed it back, it was always off by at least 30 degrees. Double D scrambled to adjust his ant farm's position to the morning sun, and then place Jim in the correct position. Kevin was completely ignoring him, and had moved onto his labels.

"Leave them in their proper order, Kevin. I don't have time to fret over the state of my bedroom. We have ten minutes until we must leave!"

"Chill, Edd." There was no becoming used to Kevin saying his birth name—even if it was a shortened version. Seeing his expression, Kevin smirked. "Eddward."

"That's unfair. Kevin is a very straightforward name, _Kev_."

Kevin shrugged. "But it's cute."

"I am far from 'cute'."

"Fine; you're fucking adorkable."

"Your creativity never fails to amaze me." Double D smiled and readjusted a label that Kevin had shifted to where it hung crookedly. Kevin proceeded to pick up Jim, inspecting the solitary cactus.

"Kevin, please."

"What."

Sigh. "The things I will endure for an attractive individual," Double D groused. Feeling slightly itchy under his hat, he reached under the fabric and scratched his head, scowling at his boyfriend.

"So how did that happen anyway, if you don't mind me asking." Kevin was staring at his hand, or more specifically, where it rested.

Oh.

"It's fine," Double D said in one breath, carefully removing his hat. "You've been curious, and I appreciate the tact." He took another breath, and then continued. "It was a severe skull fracture that required surgical intervention."

"So… they cut into your head, fixed whatever happened, and the scar stayed?"

"Precisely. I was playing in an abandoned, hardly sturdy building, young, reckless, and curious, and a piece of concrete landed on my head." The story was textbook stupidity. Kevin winced at the thought.

"Damn."

"Yes, well, that was some time ago." He had been very lucky his parents had been looking for him from where he had wandered. Silence held for a moment, heavy with the new information.

"Shall we head out before you disrupt this entire peaceful setting again?"

The situation diffused. Double D was not too affected by the facts any longer; he would rather just get it out of the way without pity or theatrics.

Kevin purposefully ignored the snap in his tone and grinned, taking Double D's hand briefly before he passed through the doorway. "Let's go. You want to bring an apple or something?" he called from the stairway as the pounding of feet echoed his descent.

"An orange, please," Double D called loudly, hoping Kevin would hear. He situated Jim correctly and then stood back, smiling at his room. Despite distractions, his morning was infinitely more enjoyable. Ah, domesticity.

As Double D made his way down the stairs, he heard muted cursings and the sound of a paper towel being ripped from its roll. When he entered the kitchen, Kevin was cleaning up droplets of juice off of the floor, the dripping orange still in one hand.

"It appears your skills end at nicknames," Double D teased from the doorway.

"Shut it, dorko. I was trying to peel this damn thing and it wouldn't peel, so I tried forcing it and did it kinda too hard."

"Allow me?" The orange was passed, and after cleaning the surface, Double D carefully peeled it. "There. Not so difficult." Kevin scoffed. "We have dilly-dallied enough; we'll be late at this rate."

"Don't worry, I brought my bike."

Double D quirked an eyebrow. "Your bike is a little small for two growing boys."

"No, no, my bike. You know how I said I got something nice for my birthday? Well, I finally got my license."

Oh. Something churned in Double D's gut. He had an inkling as to what Kevin was talking about.

"Your… motorcycle?" he tried, tentative. Kevin nodded and flashed a wicked, ecstatic grin.

"Yeah! I just polished her yesterday. Come on." Kevin steadfastly pulled him towards the door, chatting excitedly about his new bike. "I can go up to 125cc only for now, but in about a year I can get my full license."

Double D stared at the shining bike now in front of him and felt his breathing accelerate. "I don't believe motorcycles have genders," he finally said, still caught on the fact that Kevin had a "bike" and expected him to ride it without fainting.

Kevin held out his helmet.

"Those in accidents on motorcycles fair the brunt of the damage," Double D blurted, pulling back as Kevin pulled him forward.

"Come on, Double Dork, you'll be fine. I've been practicing for ages. And we'll be late if you don't get on."

Double D swallowed. He had never been late once in his high school career, but if he ran he might make it. He glanced down the sidewalk.

"Edd, please? It'll be totally rad. You get used to it really fast."

Double D cautiously took the helmet Kevin offered him before carefully placing it over his head. "Be careful. My constitution is delicate." His laugh quivered.

Kevin looked at the bike, at Double D, and then took Double D's hands in between his own. "I'll be careful. I promise," he said solemnly. This was important to Double D. He wouldn't make too light of it. "Now hop on, Edd."

Shaking, Double D bid as he was told, throwing his leg gingerly over the side. Kevin settled in front of him and directed his hands around Kevin's waist. "You'll want to hold on."

_Oh dear, oh my._

"Ready?" Double D longed to say no; never, but when the bike started, he simply buried his face into Kevin's jacket and nodded.

The bike rolled forward, purring smoothly, and then Double D felt his insides tug as they sped up. He knew they couldn't go at a very high speed in the cul-de-sac, but it still felt frighteningly fast, especially seeing the road appear in the corner of his vision as they turned corners. His arms tightened around Kevin when he increased their speed, a long stretch of road laid before them.

"You alright?" Kevin called. Double D could feel his own heartbeat flutter like a bird trapped in its cage. He felt afraid, but there was something exhilarating about holding Kevin so closely, the sturdy warmth of his back seeping into his chest and the wind rushing past his feet. He smiled against Kevin's shoulders, giddy with happiness, and nodded to where Kevin could feel it.

He was completely, positively all right.

* * *

Thoughts?


End file.
